Kids Need Room To Try Out New Skills On Their Own
- Posted by MetropolisMom on August 2nd, 2008 filed in Smart Parenting
Children are more capable at this age, and they have developed new abilities, such as dressing themselves. Insisting the “I can do myself” is one way for a child to set boundaries around her physical self and assert her growing sense of autonomy.
This is why the same child who asks her mother for privacy in the bathroom will invite a friend in for a chat or share a storybook while she is ensconced on the toilet. Similarly, children this age often want to bathe on their own, without parental help, but love the idea of taking a bath with a sibling or a friend.
In these cases, it is wise to respect your child’s desire to care for herself, even if you suspect that she is not doing a good job. After all, it is not the end of the world if a child does not remove every speck of dirt on her body or fails to put on socks that match.
Before you let your child take a bath alone, however, make sure that she knows what to do before getting into the tub, such as testing the water and turning off the hot water so that she does not get burned.
It is also a good idea to put a mat in the tub to prevent your child from slipping. Children’s desire to have privacy and to do things alone will also depend on how confident they feel on a give day. For example, a child who has just seen a scary movie may suddenly not need as much privacy as she did earlier.
As many parents have noticed, 5 and 6 years old often are more concerned about their own privacy than about respecting the privacy of others. The child who dresses in the closet, for instance, may barge in indifferently when her father or sibling is getting dressed.
Parents can help kids learn about privacy in a variety of ways. The best method is to exemplary models by both respecting children’s boundaries and requesting privacy themselves.
Privacy is a two-way street for everyone. Parents should always knock on a door before entering (even if it is only partially closed), and they should never open a child’s mail or borrow from a piggy bank without permission.
Children should not be interrogated the minute they get in the car or arrive home from school, and they should never feel pressured to reveal their private thoughts. Parents should respect Keep Out signs and allow – and even encourage - their children to spend some time alone.
And just as parents need to respect their children’s privacy, they need to ask for their own privacy. Explain to your child that when the door is closed, whether it is a bathroom door or a bedroom door, she needs to knock first because Mommy wants to be alone in the shower or her room.
If you are still helping your 5 or 6 year old in the bathroom, you explain to her that you come into the bathroom when she is there only to help her clean herself, but that adults are big and do not need that kind of help. Your help in the bathroom should be at the child’s request, not at your insistence.
Leave a Comment