MetropolisMom

Whenever you are in a public place with your 2 ½ year-old son, you cannot let go of his hand for a second or else he will try to run away, laughing loudly all the while. You have told him repeatedly that he cannot just run away like that, but to no avail. Familiar with the scenario?

Because this is a safety issue, you have every right to take it seriously; however, you also need to know what is causing it. Your son, like other children his age, is being pulled by two powerful and opposing forces. On the one hand, he wants to stay safe and protected by you and the other important adults in his life. On the other, he is enthralled by the possibilities offered by his newfound mobility.

For the moment, it looks as if his desire for freedom has won out over his need to play it safe. There are several things that you need to remember:

First, your son is not trying to run away from you; his behavior is not a form of rejection. Actually, the fact that he can rely on your chasing after him probably helps him feel more secure and makes the game more enjoyable.

Second, there is no malice on his part. He is not trying to get your goat. He is simply trying to add some fun and excitement to his life.

Third, while you can see the dangers of his darting away from you when you are together on the street or in the shopping mall, he cannot yet. Although your son may be able to parrot your warnings to him, it will be a few years before his logical sense has developed to point where he is able to understand your concern.

That is why your talks with him have not been much help-the problem is too abstract for him. Therefore, you should simply make a rule: Every time you go shopping in the mall, he must hold your hand or else sit in a stroller with his seat belt fastened.

Remind him of this rule each time you enter the mall, and tell him that the two of you can play catch-me-if-you-can games all he wants at home or in the park.

If he tries to run away, grab his hand and, without making a fuss, remind him of the rule. If he is doing a good job of keeping hold of your hand, give him a compliment every few minutes or so. Your goal is to get your son to realize that he gets more attention from you by complying with your wishes than by ignoring them.

There will be some rambunctious toddlers who simply cannot resist the temptation to dash off. For these children, the best solution is often one of those leash-and-harnesses sets that, at first glance, look as if they were designed for dogs. If you do use one, be prepared for critical glances and the occasional nasty remark from passersby.

Just remember that your child’s safety is more important than their opinions. Besides, this is only a phase your child is going through-you do not see teenagers wearing these contraptions. (Although maybe I shouldn’t be giving their parents any ideas!)

Learn more on how to discipline kids here