MetropolisMom

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Sometimes it is not so much what your child does as it is what she doesn’t do that’s embarrassing. This is especially true when you ask her to do or say something in public and her response is not what you expected.

For instance, My mother assumed that my 2-year-old daughter would run to Aunt Ivy and give her a big hug the way she had at the last family gathering. Instead, Chesca stood stock-ill, arms crossed around her chest, while Aunt Ivy waited, arms outstretched. Chesca’s unresponsiveness was some what embarrassing, but matters only got worse when my mother prodded, “C’mon, honey, give Aunt Ivy a kiss.”
“No!” protested Chesca. “Her kisses are too smushy!” That’s a statement that would make any parent cringe. But it represents Chesca’s truthful-and legitimate-feelings about being forced to kiss Aunt Ivy. And it points out a mistake that parents often make: We sometimes expect more diplomacy, tact, or restraint from our children than they are really capable of.

When Parents embarrass their child

We tend to assume that our child is being rude, when in reality, he may be self-conscious or uncomfortable with what he is being asked to do. It is his primitive way of saying that he is embarrassed.
We need to respect our children’s limits and their need to have some power over how they respond to people. There is nothing wrong with a child who has to take time to assess a situation or who is not immediately comfortable talking to people.

When Chesca first balked at kissing her aunt, my mother could have said, “Chesca needs some time to warm up to you again.” Or “She is not in a kissing mood right now.”

There will be other times when your child’s behavior is so surprising that it catches you totally off guard. If you find yourself in such a situation, try to see the humor in it. While standing in a long line at the bank, one mother was mortified to hear her son use a four-letter word to curse a fly that had been bothering him. When all eyes turned to her, she paused, took a deep, breath, and said in a moment of pure inspiration, “Wait till I tell your mother what you said!”

Want to Read More? Check out What To Do When Your Daughter Misbehaved At Her Friend’s Party

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